Update on my personal life, things didn't necessarily go any better for me though there have been some improvements like finally getting a room for myself, still lacks electricity for now but we're working on it, and recently I just didn't feel like creating much, because I was focusing on my girlfriend

Grace, to make it clear

We had been together for 4 years up until that point, but our entire relationship turned sour due to a pretty insignificant argument that was more just a matter of opinion, one she felt very strongly about and it sparked an un wanted argument in which she said pretty insulting things to me, and I ended up returning them back to her

Long story short, she could not get over it this entire year, and I was stuck trying to please her after the fact, and convince her I wasn't the type of person she was now convinced I was and couldn't let go of, it sounds dumb that I would do that but Grace already had many mental struggles I was helping her out with, and she never claimed to not love me or anything she even felt really bad for not being able to let go, which kept me trying and trying and trying

But I eventually realized she didn't have any hopes of forgiving me, to her this was already a lost cause, something I could never live down nor make up for no matter what I do, and she was just trying because I would beg her to, and that's why we wouldn't progress, if she didn't feel it within her heart to forgive me, she wasn't going to, ever

So with a heavy heart I asked her to at least let me go then, to try and carry on with my life, and for her to hopefully find someone better than me, which she already had many proponents, despite her insecurities about her image, I barely have friends, and in the end she just cussed me out, telling me not to ever claim to have cared for her or love her, because I was clearly selfish and only leaving her for my own gain and that she sacrificed way more than I did

and so it started by saving her from suicide, to being nearly pushed to suicide and then cussed out and told I never cared

If there's one thing I haven't lost lately, is hope

Sorry for my inactivity, work has been taking all of my energy and I barely get any sleep

I wish for things to get better soon, so I can go back do to what I actually want to do regardless of pay

which is making art for you guys...

Regarding my lack of activity on every social media account I own, I'm not really expecting much people to be wondering

where I was, I'm not precisely a well known artist, though I am known so I always assume some of you

may care to know how things have been going

Well as ok as they have been just recently, I'm sorry to say that although my dad had just defeated Cancer and gone back home, this victory was quickly followed by another trip to the hospital, as he was not doing too well already, and he still had some complications needed to take care of, from then on followed increasingly worrisome symptoms and where I live, as much as we have free healthcare, this comes at the cost of most people there being... barebones in their treatments, a crowded place where most people are treated unfairly and most doctors don't actually care about the patients or their families

By the end of this we managed to get him on a costly hospital but once there, the free hospital had let him go with many important issues they MUST have realized, my theory is they just wanted him to die at home and not be their problem anymore, but not telling us is the part I find inhuman and downright cynical

He had Tuberculosis, and it had gone untreated, of course, since we didn't know and the doctors never did anything to tell us or treat it, they fixed most other things wrong with him but unfortunately he was having too many complications, my mom called me and my sisters to come say our goodbyes, and that's where all these news hit me suddenly

I got to see him, if heavily sedated, and the whole process of veiling, praying, and going to Mass as well as the ceremony where they'd put his ashes in the crypt of a church next to where he used to teach, was mentally, emotionally and physically tiring, I could not catch a break, not even a moment to be by myself with my feelings, and it was draining me just seeing my mom distraught from all this, as well as my family members

I am able to deal with loss pretty well myself, I don't fear the concept of life just ending, and I'm fine with the fact this just eventually happens to all of us, but it's been still hard from his absence and how draining everything after was, after this I took time to be by myself and just cope with all this but unfortunately I got sick, wasn't Covid but of course my family was worried for a good while

Today I'm pretty much all cured, and I'm not sure if I have the same drive to progress with my current unfinished projects just yet but, I guess life goes on and on, if I don't soon, I can't expect to grow like the artists responsible for those characters you see there in the background

Thanks if anyone read this, I'll still try to be more active

Had some stuff in my life to sort out, my dad is finally back from the hospital after his hopefully last chemo, and only has a throat infection due to his defenses being low at the time and some small scars made by the tubes the doctors put on him and had to take out

Haven't had much time to be by myself and work on my art or my animations, and as usual this is not ideal for me, I wish I had the free time to do all the things I want to, but hopefully without too many chores to do everyday to maintain the house by myself I'll have more time to work on upcoming art and animations

Thanks for so much

Sorry for so little

Disciplinary Reinforcement

Featuring newly designed villain Jane Willows

Available for 1$

New Commission: Pulled Through (for Pious Seeker)

A Junji Ito-like monster that can pull people through locks

Available for 1$

It is I, the red hooded pale zombie who keeps flatlining online, thought some of you would like an update on how things are going, Been busy ever since I got into this well paid but time consuming job, attending to calls

It has several campaigns, and I just didn't get certified to this current one, so I just got some time while I get transferred to the next

sorry I get so inactive sometimes, I got stuff to attend to and I'm still not in a good position to fully dedicate myself to what I love

Today was an amazing birthday, being Art day, Anime day, and the 20th anniversary of a coffee brand I personally enjoy, I gotta say it made me feel special

and I can't be any more thankful of being who I am and having the things I have, knowing the people I know and just getting this far, turning 20 today and becoming an adult, who knows his aspirations well

Will soon upload a SFW version of a commission I just finished, but in the mean time, I'll be celebrating my birhday cuz man do I long for small breaks like these from all the work and rushes

Been busy caught up with work and unfinished projects, but the good news we got today is that in scanners his cancer is no longer visible

he'll be taking his last chemo, and will be checked again if it ever comes back in august

It seems my father beat cancer, in the midst of a pandemic, I can only dream of being that strong one day doesn't mean I won't try though